


Yesterday's Menu for the Emiya Family

by StarryWrites



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 10:29:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18092603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryWrites/pseuds/StarryWrites
Summary: The Emiya family? Having dinner together? It's more likely than you think.A one-shot bit of fluff featuring the best (dysfunctional) family.





	Yesterday's Menu for the Emiya Family

A nice relaxing dinner. A chance for the Einzbern-Emiya family to finally spend some quality time together.

At least that's what it was supposed to be.

“Can I help you with something Artoria?”

The petite blonde peeking into kitchen perked up. “Lady Irisviel mentioned you were preparing dinner.”

“Yeah, it's like a family thing.”

“Precisely.” Her hair antenna gave a wiggle.

He crossed his arms bringing a hand to chin, thinking. While not exactly family, it's hard to deny their ties. He couldn't really justify turning her away. “But you know my old man is going to be here. I thought you didn't get along.”

“I am willing to put aside our differences for tonight.” Her cowlick continued to betray her pseudo-seriousness. She was obviously only there for the food.

Emiya conceded with a small sigh of defeat. “I'll put some tea on for you.”

As Artoria made herself comfortable, Emiya pulled more ingredients out of the refrigerator to accommodate for the extra guest.

“Are you sure that is going to be enough food?” A new voice floated behind him.

“Let me guess: you've invited yourself to dinner because my history with Rin, who you are currently possessing, means you're practically family. Or was this her idea?” He gave her a sideways glance knowing she'd be turning red with embarrassment.

“T-that's not-” Flustered, she tripped over her words. “Look, you should just be happy that a goddess has decided to grace you with her presence!”

“Oh? Is that so…” He returned to chopping the vegetables, unfazed.

Ishtar grumbled indignantly and attempted to storm out of the kitchen only to be nearly mowed over by a very pink blur of energy.

“Big brother! We're here!” Ilya chirped happily. She clung to his side and smiled widely up at him, earning a head pat. Irisviel could be heard talking with Artoria in the other room. “Daddy got called out on a mission though.”

“Don’t worry, he'll be here. Why don't you help with setting the table?”

“Okay!” She scampered off, finally leaving Emiya to finish cooking in peace.

The peace was short lived, however.

“Heeelllloooo every-nyan!”

“Yo.”

“Oh, Miss Fujimura. Lancer. I wasn't aware you would be joining us,” Artoria noted as Cú headed straight to the fridge to grab beer for the pair of lancer class servants.

“You're one to talk Saber. No one thought you'd be here either,” Emiya yelled from the kitchen over the sizzle of a skillet.

“I smelled some totally pawsome food and knew it had to be Emiyan's cooking! Food means drinking and everyone needs a drinking buddy so I brought a friend!”

“Don't call me that,” added Emiya. “And don't you have somewhere else you can eat and get drunk? This is a family dinner!”

“Well, they are kinda like house pets. A cat and a dog that come running whenever there is food,” Ishtar remarked dryly.

“You weren't invited either! Does no one listen to me?” These people were getting on his last nerve.

Irisviel giggled. “What an astute observation, Miss Ishtar. You're quite right!”

Cú slammed his hands down on the table and glared at the goddess. “Amn’t some kind of puppy!”

“Woof woof.” Ishtar reclined lazily, floating a few feet off the floor. Her piercing red eyes were goading on the blue lancer as gems appeared in her hand.

He materialized his spear and readied himself in a battle stance, their eyes locked in a furious staring contest.

Ilya gave head scratches to Jaguar Warrior who could only be described as purring happily. Artoria sipped her tea and pretended not to notice the looming fight. Emiya shook his head in exasperation placing bowls of food on the table.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” The heavy tension was broken by the well-timed arrival of the elder Emiya.

“You're right on time dear,” Irisviel smiled. “We were just about to eat as soon as these two  _ stopped fighting and sat down. _ ”

Sheepishly, the pair backed down from their fight. The sudden shift to her mom voice paired with her innocent smile was downright scary.

Ishtar grumbled a small apology as she lowered herself to seating level. Cú refused to make eye contact with anyone as he sipped his beer.

Noting that everyone was now around the table, Jaguar Warrior enthusiastically meowed, “Alright! Let's eat!”

Dinner proceeded without further incident - mostly. The group shared stories of their past lives, chatting and laughing easily with each other.

Then there was one piece of fish left.

Artoria reached for the morsel at the same moment as Jaguar Warrior. Their chopsticks interlocked and an all out battle began.

It's hard to say when it happened, exactly. Everything moved so fast that no one could tell how Artoria's wayward hair was plucked from her head.  

As a black mist overtook the room, she raised her sword over her head ready to strike down the offending feline.

“EXCALIBUR MORG-”

Before she could deal a fatal blow to the entire room a rice ball was shoved in her mouth.

“There's no need to murder Fuji-nee, Saber.” Emiya tried to sound as Shirou-like as possible, giving her a weak smile and patting her head. She quickly deflated back to normal.  

“Oh, so that's how that works.” Kiritsugu commented, continuing his meal undisturbed as the rest recovered from the shock of this new knowledge.

Then, Cú started laughing from the absurdity of it all.

Amidst the ensuing giggle fit Emiya excused himself to do the dishes, returning only once everything was in its proper place and the group sounded calm enough for dessert. Dinner may not have gone exactly as planned but then again, family isn't always perfect.

Standing in the threshold between the kitchen and dining room, holding a chocolate cake Irisviel made earlier in the day, he surveyed the room.

Jaguar Warrior was curled up sleeping under the table and Cú was sprawled out drunk on the floor next to her. Ilya gestured wildly regaling Iri and Kiritsugu with stories of the day's exploits with her new friends while Artoria attempted to twist her hair into a matching bun.

“Somehow it's a little nostalgic, isn't it?” sighed Ishtar, swiping a finger full of frosting.

“Yeah, I suppose it is.”

 


End file.
